I rock :)
well, I want to be first to say it. I wrote a letter to God. i'm pretty sure nobody has done it before.
I rock :)
oh btw, maybe I should try donation pool to raise money for treatment and change. but i already don't like Paypal... long time ago, they blocked the money process until they confirm it's me whole crap blah blah with the address and SSN crap. so no, but most of things I like on ebay have already switched to paypal too. but I mean, WHERE is that old paypal I liked? -.-
if you got suggestions to go for different one, I will do a search and check to make sure it's safe.
well, I looked up name change.. it seems that it also costs money to get name change through legal means.. I even would have to change the birth certificate too. so, that would work. I hope to get money and make sure I actually have enough to change it after my treatment and surgery.. but for now i'd like to get and keep my birth certificate. only at least until the transformation process I hope to get.
i smacked my hand so hard on shower wall today while in shower.
it hurts so much, it was out of anger. i was very mad at myself... -.-
good news, most of our stolen stuff from storage few weeks ago are back home where it belongs.
okay, I really seriously hate how much longer I have to be stuck here in this state that I cannot stand it at all!
I hate, hate, hate this form!
it's been days and still nothing that could possibly help me get away from this god damned form! I hate this world with passion that everything costs money!
fuck the money!
I've been thinking about it, I should have a eye color and hair color change. to um, purple after the whole thing four years later. I think I would be pretty much more Saturn enough just like Sailor Saturn.
OMG! I fucking hate her! out of nowhere, she accuses me of stealing her stuff, then attacks me flat out!
I attacked her back in self defense again, this time with Vacuum cleaner. and i inflicted even more injuries to her body, arms and legs.
I am NOT IN MOOD to talk to her, let alone get accused of something I did not do. I WENT TO BED LAST NIGHT to get some good night's rest.
why can't she just leave me alone!
I feel like I want to kill her! I already held off those thoughts of killing her. it's really so fucking hard to keep them from tempting me. i'm doing my best to avoid this conflict with her.
plus on worse timing, I have bad headache, and it was that hard to ignore those. but thankfully, I did managed to ignore them.
seriously, it's gonna gone bad someday soon. I need to get away from here and from her soon as possible on first chance.
I FUCKING HATE THAT BITCH!
she just doesn't get it at all!I told her to not get in my face or standing too close to me, she even just attacks me twice!!
one with just her hands, second time with wooden stick. that fucking really hurt. I attacked her back in self defense with wooden stick and inflicted wide line type bruise on her arm.
I told her that i'm NOT Brandon or her son nothing more. never was. i'm Cassandra Saturn, and she is NOT my Mother.
now I fucking wish I had some goddamn money to finally get away from my old life and start new life in my own way, away from her and everyone close to me except my selected friends and my selected best friends.
god forbid it, if that bitch decides to attack me again, this time I will hurt her far more. she may be my mother, but she is total bitch just very much like her mother are. she is not my mother anymore, I explained that long ago.
I hate this life.
ugh! i'm so fucking sick of this bullshit!
I hate BSN! fucking bullys and trolls!
I swear to god i'm gonna strangle them and slap them across their goddamn faces. see if they can try to keep trolling me over my threads which i'm making to help other players how to beat enemy game AIs..
This blog of Hers, Life Struggles are about her life in her view, point of view. are also about her thoughts on all kinds of matters in her life.
it is also her Journal Blog.
Comments are welcome, but I ask for civil and clean comments please.
this Journal is now NSFW too.