because i don't have a family who really loves me for who i am and what i want to become.
even i want a family who supports me for going through with this decision, my choice and my life, my happiness.
i'm also crying so badly because i don't have friends in real life who will be my true friend and support me.
i sometime think about my life and truly hate it so much in way it has happened to me many times that i wish i was never born this way or ever been born.
i blamed myself, my family, everyone i knew in real life for what i had become as boy/man instead of being girl/woman. it's not fair for a girl like me forced to live life as boy/man all those years instead of being happy.
so i took it out on myself and my own life. i ended up getting hurt over the time just like that.
i just WISHED my life would end, no more of this NIGHTMARE as boy but to wake up as girl, hoping everything is fine and should be the way as it will be. but that will never happen. not in way i want it to be.