my eyes opening slowly, I saw a familiar figure. only one I totally recognized was him, my late boyfriend Austin. as I saw him fully, I rubbed my eyes while saying "it can't be you, A.. Austin? is it really you?"
he said, "Good Morning, Cassandra. yes, it's really me. I came by to wake you up, my dear lady." I replied, "I miss you, Austin. I really do. I just... wish you were with me."
he replied again, "I know. I am sorry that it pains you because I'm no longer part of this realm anymore and that you want to feel real part of me here. but only one thing I can offer you is this memory."
he put his forehead next to my forehead and he said, "Close your eyes, I want you to see it." I did close my eyes, I saw flash of memories of his time with me and how he felt about me.
after it ended, I broke down and cried happily. I said, "I had no idea that you felt same way about me, thank you." he replied, "no, Thank YOU. I owe you for everything. you were best thing that ever happened in my former life."
then I said, "are you going?" he said, "yes, I'm going back. I have little time on this planet." then he hugged me tightly, he also said, "I'm always around, Cassandra" as he vanished with big smile on his face.
I just started to giggle after the hug, I had't felt such warm sensation like that on my body since I last spoke with him in 2012. he really left me all happy and warm, giggling like a little girl. I am so happy that he shared his memories and his time with me.
I just have to work seriously and hard to get here at the point of my life: to become a woman finally. a year and few months of sadness and despair, hurt really left me all wrecked and broken until today, Austin himself arrived this morning to get me out of it.
I already know I had't talked much about my life, just events of my life. so I will talk about it now.
in 2008, the fight between me and my ex-Mother happened without cause or reason. I really don't know why. it just happened. since then, we have always not see eye to eye most of times or ever have actually spoke about it.
but that will never happen. she has years of grudge and hatred inside her because of her mother and her family, everything that happened to us in every certain point of our lives.
for example, her mother has been berating her for long time since 2011 telling her to get job.
my ex-Mother was lazy for two years since she got laid off when her job at business closed down/given new management in 2011. never really got back to searching for new job. I thought she deserved a year of rest from working to maintain the bill costs while I was maintaining the house.
of course, she really never actually went out with friends since 2011. I do remember that she once told me that her friends stopped talking to her since she was laid off.
anyway.. on to 2013.
in 2013, I was struggling here at my ex-Mother's house. I was having tough weekend I practically went through two days of hell, I was unable to maintain myself in healthy terms.
and that was due to none food problem for two days, we had no money to actually get decent meals but just very crappy and lame foods from food bank for two days.
today in current year of 2014, I went through three days and three nights of no food and I pulled all nighter last yesterday in quick move to keep my body maintained with canned fresh fruit foods until decent meals finally arrived this same morning.
and I gobbled up few to feel better. my tummy was hurting so badly for past two days and two nights. the effect on me was too great and left me very weak, but I still put smile on my face anyway despite shortage of good foods.
I'm pretty lucky that I got through it. I althrough do admit, the food banks need serious upgrade for food selection for poor families. I believe they do deserve it.
and so now I'm writing few new scientific theories for first time, they are based on the theories I got from Washu herself.
she actually taught me alot on the universe and technology. plus the design of technology far ahead of the time. she was so happy to be my mother here in that universe. I created scientific theories before but never got around to publishing them. but I presented them to Washu, who was impressed and said, "you're becoming more smarter over the time. great job!"
and so.. that's all I have today. thanks for reading!
~ Cassandra Saturn